fivebyevif

Sugar scrubs? Pfft. So 2001. All the cool girls nowadays are using sanded grout. On their arms. On their hands. On their bare feet. In their hair….

I don’t actually have money, but I went and hired a personal trainer anyway. We shan’t discuss cost. Mom pitched in, but it only covered about 1/4 of the total cost. My mind has conveniently compartmentalized and locked away that portion of this endeavor.

Anyway, on Friday I contracted Amy to be my ultraperky voice of reason.  After rattling off a normal lunch to her, she dissed my potato salad and love of bread and sweetened yogurt, and ordered me to eat more protein and vegetables, spread my food across six meals a day, and only three (!!!) carbohydrate portions daily.

Why do I suspect this might actually help me achieve the goal weight I’ve been pursuing since 2002? Because when it doesn’t overwhelm me, having to be responsible keeps me focused. We shall take the tiling as an example. The thing that finally got me to do it was to ask a friend over and “help” with the tiling. In reality, he watched Mythbusters while I swore and ached, rising from time to time when I yelled, “Paper towels!” or “White vinegar!” or “Giant flaming badger!” But having him there — taking time out of his schedule to be my moral support — egged me into doing it.

It’s the same with Amy and her well-paid time. And so far so good. I’ll be typing up more notes about my experience with a trainer so those of you who, like me, can’t afford one or, like me (until Friday), have never thought of getting one can benefit as well.