“My doctor says I should go on a low-fat diet,” I said to my mom, and we both began to laugh that slightly hysterical, brittle-edged laughter that the women of my family always emit whenever a doctor tells us our cholesterol is too high.
We have family history of this thing, you see. It doesn’t matter if I never look at butter again or swear off cheese. It doesn’t matter if I exercise nine days a week and consume my body weight in fiber. My cholesterol will always be high. Also, I have a life and I like cheese. So sue me.
The nice thing is that the “good” cholesterol is also abnormally high, and that makes the high “bad” cholesterol not such a “bad” thing. The nurse who I had to call to decipher my doctor’s birdscratch told me to eat soy products. I reminded her I had a thyroid condition. She backpedaled. Hurray for checking a patient’s history. One more reason why you must remain ever vigilant, even with the professionals who do this stuff every day.
In defiance of doctorly advice, I made peanut-butter brownie cookies. They are every bit as bad for your bottom line as they look, and every bit as tasty as they sound. Notable substitutions to my version:
- Low-fat cream cheese. Because I can never tell the difference.
- Duncan Hines 10 oz. box of brownie mix. Because I prefer it.
- Homemade frosting. Because canned frosting is awful yucky gross gross gross.
Otherwise, all the same, and wow are they yum. The frosting was the rest of the butter (4 tablespoons) and the rest of the cream cheese (4 ounces) whipped up with a whole lot of cocoa powder and powdered sugar, as well as a pinch of salt, 2 teaspoons of instant coffee liquefied in about 2 tablespoons of cream, and 1 teaspoon of vanilla extract. I added cream to the frosting as I felt it needed it. I could have used milk, but I happen to have cream. BECAUSE I’M ON A LOW-FAT DIET, OBVIOUSLY.
The secret to buttercream is really, really, really soft butter. I know that now. Really, really, really soft cream cheese is also a must when used in frosting. I left both out overnight, and the texture results were outstanding.
All in all, some of the most amazingly rich cookies I’ve ever made. Almost more like little mini-cakes than cookies. I suspect I will only eat the one test subject. They are just way, way too much.
Anyway, yeah, so I henna’d my hair. Bright red streaks a-go-go. Aw yeah.
4 responses so far ↓
Abnormally high good cholesterol AND brownie cookies? You’re cruel, sis-o.
i am still waiting for the results of my cholesterol. I guess I started this. My high is and my good chol is high so I guess they balnce out. I took garlique tablets for 90 days to see if it helped maybe this week I will hear. It was the 5th I had the blood test, surely I will hear this week mima
finally heard from the doctors office. My chlorestral is extremely high which it has been for years, my good is not as highg as it used to be but i am going in in august and the nurse said I could talk to the doctor then. ah me such as problem we all have. mine is worse though becasue i can take the medication for about 4 months at a time.
Well, now we know about the Garlique at least….
I know you aren’t exactly eating sticks of butter, Mima. Someone needs to go back in time and talk to whatever ancestor gave us these genes!
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