archived notes for Mar. 2000

03.31.00 - Most of the American fans seem to favor Duo as the cutest of the (New Mobile Military History) Gundam Wing bishounen, and if your only exposure to him was this image, I bet you'd think the same. [linked in from Strange Interludes]

Personally, while I'm finding Gundam Wing more and more entertaining, I don't really feel for the characters (except maybe Noin). I'm happier having a strictly platonic relationship with a blue-haired monk.

This weekend: make sound clips, work on websites, clean house, put in new Vent design and writings, replace Kemet.org search engine with better one.

Oh, and in a feeble effort to actually promote one of my sites, I added a "recommend this site to a friend!" thingie on my notes page and my Bast essay.

03.30.00 - Donna is on a train, I am wishing I was a beach bum. It's not that I hate work, I love work, but sometimes I wish I were a beach bum. With a laptop, so I could write about the beach and make other people want to be a beach bum.

Family things going on...a little bit of sadness there. I'm concerned about my sister, Jennifer. I won't go into details...it's not anything physically life-threatening, though it does effect her heart. I'm hoping that things go toward the best for her.

Odd dreams last night, still not sure what it meant, and I can't talk about it, either. Heh. I know I didn't come here to be mysterious today, so my apologies, Dear Reader. That's just the way it's working out.

I-70 is a minefield of construction. I saw two accident-aftermaths between St. Charles and St. Louis on my roundtrip drive to take Donna to the Amtrak station. Such things remind me of my youth.

I don't fear God, though I am in awe of God. I analyzed this mental statement last night while God was present, and decided that the emotion I felt -- the emotion that made my eyes pop out and my heart pick up pace -- was not fear, but awe.

Donna thinks fear and awe are in the same boat, but I don't agree. Fear is apprehension -- expectation of loss or pain caused by forces that may be malevolent, or may just be misunderstood. Awe can be caused by a force you don't understand, but it lacks the bloodstain of anxiety and worry. Fear incites thoughtlessness -- fight or flight. Awe inspires thoughtfulness -- prayer and reverence. So I think I'm honest when I say I do not fear God -- after all, if God wished to destroy me, God would do it. It's pretty simple, keh?

These statements, of course, will probably evolve as my life goes on. We'll see.

Taxes. Must do taxes!

03.29.00 - I have now watched Fushigi Yuugi twice. Roughly eleven hours of reading subtitles over the course of five days. If you know me, and you know my monopoly on time, you know how much I must like this. It really is that good, and now Jeff and Dave know what I've been babbling about these past months.

Anyway.

The Donna leaves tomorrow, and my life goes back to semi-normality for a week until I drive up to Chicago on the 7th. I've also confirmed my flight for San Francisco on the 27th. April is going to be a living-out-of-my-suitcase kind of month.

We went back to Tachibana. Japanese food is the antithesis to French cuisine. It's not that I think one is better than the other, but both are very different in good ways.

I'm still not happy with this page's design. I think I'm going to yank the picture of me and change the fonts -- I thought I liked dauphin, but now I think it's too flowery. I wish I could come up with something innovative, but I think my head is grounded in corporate design too much. That, and I just don't have a feel for bleeding edge graphic design. Harrumph.

My cube has been described as the "Abode of the Happy Anime Girl". Harrumph.

I'm thinking of getting a shag. Get yer head out of the gutter, I mean the hairstyle. My bangs have almost grown to the length of my hair, which is how I like them. I'm just too lazy to deal with bangs.

March has been a long month. In a good way.

And you thought the Japanese were strange. I have nothing at all against regulating the sale of wild cats, but what the hell do the Muppets have to do with legislature?

03.27.00 - Okay, I haven't ported over any error documents, but I think I got this all right and happy. I'm sure some links and images will be broken, and I didn't port the Vent area over yet, but in the world of global search and replace, I think I got them all. Thus, my web diary moves to its new proving grounds.

My thought bubble on my white board is empty, which is an eloquent and Zen-like way of expressing the way my own brain currently is. Donna is at home, doing something with macramé and tapioca I'm sure. And I'm trying to figure out how I'm going to tangle up my main character's life. I want to do something interesting, something to do with the act of sacrifice and the act of loving someone, but I don't know if I can pull it off. Hm.

I mean, all the time in movies we see heroes wailing that they'll do anything for the one they love, but how do you cut through the thick shellac of years of having been told this -- told told told -- and get to the heart of the actual act? I'm probably not expressing this correctly....

I feel sometimes like after years of hearing something, the value of the words gets lost. "I'll die for you!" is such a common sentiment in Western literature, but...honestly...do we really feel that the characters will die for each other, or do we just see those words and recognize it as a signal that we're supposed to understand that this is a dire situation and we should now wiggle to our assigned spot at the edge of our seats. I don't want to do that. Maybe I should just avoid the medicore sentiments and go for something that expresses this without saying it -- but how?

I think I'm going to send my characters to Hell.

Literally.

Not many people would walk into Hell for someone. Throw yourself on the sword of a foe, stand in the way of a bullet -- yeah, okay. But if you were looking down into the dark maw of Hell, could you walk in there without a torch? Would you do that for the ones you love? Not die -- dying is easy, really. It hurts, but it's easy. Facing your problems, your demons, your afflictions -- for someone else -- that's not easy. Are you afraid of the dark, or are you afraid of what's waiting in the dark?

Or are you one of those things?

Hm.

See, me, personally, I have that irrational fear of darkness. I hate being alone in the dark. I hate not being able to see. Not knowing what's behind me. Unless I'm controlling the darkness -- like choosing to switch off the light -- sudden blackouts drive me nuts.

Hm.

I need to think about this.

03.26.00 - Hey there, Dear Reader. Nothing new to report, just that Donna and I are having lots of fun, and I promise I'll start updating again once I'm not busy.

In the meantime, did you know that Benjamin Franklin invented the armonica? No, that's not a typo. It's a glass musical instrument. Really.

We went and had Brazillian food on Friday. Kick. Ass. Sugar cane rum (cachaça) is wonderful, and I think that the caipirinha is my new favorite drink. Tonight we had teriyaki skewers and cheese fondu with bread and apples. This meal brought to you by Evil Twin #1 and Evil Twin #2.

So which is it: whiny, pretentious, or boring? Not to get too pretentious myself, I figure I write my online journal the same way I write my fiction...on a computer. And as close to my feelings as possible.

Which reminds me. We watched Glorious again tonight. I like my women like I like my coffee -- in a plastic cup. Eddie Izzard, for the sake of humanity's sense of humor, please clone yourself.

The American voice actors for Fushigi Yuugi would probably sound okay if you weren't used to the Japanese actors -- but I've spent too many hours drooling over the originals. I shrieked and fell off the couch when I heard the American Chichiri -- it was like someone dragging their nails down the chalkboard of my soul. Yui sounds like a squeaktoy. The only one that's okay is Nuriko, who sounds appropriately snarky. Hotohori isn't dignified enough, Tamahome sounds like he's half-asleep, Miaka sounds like she needs to be put on lithium. I stick by the subtitled version. Since I have no idea who's reading my site, I apologize if any of you are those voice actors -- like I said, I think it'd be fine if I wasn't used to the originals, but I am. Na no da.

Aieee! I'm covered in beeeees!

03.23.00 - Eep! Hang in there, Susan. Car accidents definitely are part of the World of Suck. But I'm glad you're okay.

I love getting non-bill-related surprises in the mail.

Build your own cow!

Scott Reinhart was the only St. Charles Missourian to make it to the Diablo II betatest. We don't know who you are, Scott, but if we find out where you live, I can't be responsible for what happens.

I have to do my taxes. I just have to. Must! Do! Taxes!

I may be going up to Chicago sometime in April. More as things go.

Final Fantasy VIII players -- I didn't know they existed, but there are apparently real life gunblades out there. Hunh.

Preparing for using DreamWeaver: Shut down all art programs. Shut down Outlook. Shut down Eudora. Shut down all browsers. Save everything you don't want to risk losing. Remember to try not to move through windows too much. Okay. Now. Start it up.

03.22.00 - The Donna is coming! The Donna is coming! Quick! Clean the house! Shave the cat! The Donna is coming!

I drew an infernally cute super deformed version of me, complete with my rather wide super-deformed hips. When I remember to take it home, I'll scan it and put it up here. I think I'm just going to use it from now on for anyone who wants an image of me.

Today is Mike's birthday! Happy 29, Mike!

Being awoken at 2:40 AM to fix products is always a thrill. And a great reason to sleep until noon.

I've worked up a new logo for Vent, just got to follow through with the design. Easier to read and more clean is the goal. Sorry for everyone who has been forced to live with the ten-minute design I put up eight months ago.

Sailor Jupiter saves the world! This is actually kind of cute.

And for those of you who have seen Gundam Wing and thought about There's Something About Mary while watching it (it's the hair -- I swear, it's the hair), then this is for you: "There's Something About Heero".

03.21.00 - Okay, so you know what the Hamster Dance is (or, at least, if you don't you will if you click on the link). So now...for your pleasure....

The Al Gore Dance!

I decided last night I don't think I want to be a java programmer. Yes, I could make more money -- sounds of my mother wailing -- but I don't have any drive to learn it. I just don't care. Sorry, mom. Maybe I'll wind up making my living off webpages instead.

Spring is in the air. I need to redesign.

03.20.00 - (thud!)

(eep!)

(eep!)

Hi :)

I'm blushing. Derek Powazek apparently checks his access logs or something. I didn't even know he knew my site existed. Oh dear. Gosh. Eep.

I'm speechless, sorry guys. Treasure the moment.

Thank you, Derek :) I never even knew you'd read it, but...thank you.

Thanks to Susan for the heads up, without which I'd surely have had a heart attack sometime this afternoon when I got around to checking all my weblogs.

Okay, so that really wasn't an entry. I only got five hours of sleep last night, and but for the grace of adrenaline I probably wouldn't have made it through today.

Today is a hot chocolate-and-sukiyaki kind of day. First day of Spring, and it's dark and dismal outside, but that doesn't bother me. I kind of like it. Reminds me of Berkeley but, um, colder. And with cows.

I revised five chapters of my book last night to accomodate for my latest changes. I think I have the characters firmed up, and I'm about to start killing off the extras. Hero #1 and Hero #2 are bickering with each other. It's kind of cute.

No, I don't know when the webcam will be back. I'm still waiting for my cable modem provider to give me my account so I can activate the website and upload things there.

Sleep....

03.19.00 - Speaking of cats....

Donna says she almost bought the Weiss Kreuz tapes a few months back, but decided against it at the last minute. Doh!

By the way, the answer to last night's question was tuna melt. They're so simple and wonderful. Here's how to make them:

one can of tuna
one tomato
one english muffin
mayonnaise
two slices processed cheez

Drain the tuna (give the juice to your cat if you have one) and mix it with mayo the way you'd normally make tuna salad. If you like relish (blech) and stuff in it, go ahead and make it that way, you adulterator! Just pretend you're making a tuna sandwich, just don't actually make the sandwich.

Split the muffin, and on either half smear some of the tuna stuff. You should have enough left over to make another tuna melt, unless you go nuts with the stuff, which isn't entirely recommended but, hey, it's your sandwich. Slice the tomato into little thin quarters and put one layer on the tuna. You'll have tomato left over unless you really dig tomato. Put one cheez slice on top of each half, then stick it under a broiler or in a toaster oven and let the cheez melt and the muffin get a little crispy. Watch it. Cheez burns easily.

Now, eat it.

03.18.00 - The first thing I thought when the power went out at the office: Oh cool! It's really dark in here without all those computers and overhead lights on!

The second thing I thought: Uh, I work for an online web-based games company that houses all its products in the office.

And the third: And I'm on call this week.

We had forty minutes to bring every one of our products down. I swear, I must have some bad onduty luck, because this is now the second time I've been on call and something catastrophic has happened that's effected all our products.

03.17.00 - Lamb stew! Maybe I'll make this while Dave and Jeff are off running through brambles.

Hey great, it's Saint Patrick's day. Growing up, I had no idea what the significance of this day was, other than that it meant boys were going to pinch me if I didn't wear green. Sometimes, when I'd forget, I'd get desperate and get a green Crayola magic marker and scribble it on my hand so that I could brandish it in their faces and shriek, "I'm wearing green! I'm wearing green!"

Now that I'm older, I still have no idea what the significance of this day is, and armed with my hairbrush with death ^TM, I fear not the pinchers. They fear me.

"How to Start Your Own Games Development Company". Heh.

Exploding chocolate! Why didn't I think of this?

03.16.00 - New Wehem up at Kemet.org, and some changes forthcoming in the Wehem department, though right now that's still being planned (I'll talk more as the Nisut (AUS) and I refine things). Lots of little changes to the site as a whole -- do you like the new look for the booklist? Hopefully some more changes will go in this weekend while I camp out at the office.

Starting at 11 AM Friday morning, I'm back on call for a week. Dave and Jeff are leaving for KC and another airsoft thingie. Let the crashings commence!

Jeff said he would wish for telekinesis, Vader style. Dave said he would wish for teleportation or flight. Me...well, a few years ago I'd have wished for flight or teleportation, and I seriously considered the ability to speak and write all languages in the world, but as I thought about the question I decided that what I'd wish for is the ability to protect myself and my family and friends from misfortune. My life would be a lot easier if I never had to worry about a semi taking out one of my family members. I know that sounds sappy, but that's what I'd want if I was granted a wish of that sort.

Ben! Ben is living proof that bishounen can exist outside a manga. My virtual self is very happy.

I may do my Chichiri no Hokora this weekend depending on how things go. I really need to learn Japanese sometime. My brain is starting to get confused, though, between the Middle Egyptian transcribing ("3" is "ah" and "w" is "oooo") and the Japanese romanji ("ei" is "A" and "ou" is "oh"). Swirly-headed Steph!

There's a calico cat outside my window, taunting Amber. What is it with calicos? They're sadists, I swear. This is the second evil calico I've met. Someday, we're going to wake up and find ourselves under the multi-hued paw of calico world domination, I'm tellin ya....

03.15.00 - I took today off. I'm a servant of God, I'm allowed to do these things.

I tried to explain to Dave and Jeff as to why it was I took today off, and I can't really articulate it well. I wrote a long letter to my sebau about it, and the response was that I did the right thing. It's not that things have been hitting me over the head, it's that things have been becoming a part of me, and it was disorienting to be the two people I am while that was happening. Stephanie, who works at an office and focuses on office work, was having a hard time when Stephanie, who is a priest and focuses on spiritual work, was being forced to deal with some things so...I went away for a day.

I really like taking days off and being with myself. I'm a great companion, if I do say so about myself. I never get bored when I'm with me. I went to the graveyard and poured water for some of the really old gravestones no one's visited in a long time, I cleaned away some of the leaves from the obscured headstones so the names were prominent, and tried to remove the lichen that had grown on the headstone of a woman named Florence, though that wasn't all too successful (next time I'll bring something with me to take care of that). And then I drove around until I found a park and I watched worms and red robins for a while. In the middle of the park, I took out my cell phone and called Donna to chat with her. I thought that was fun.

There weren't any overwhelming realizations, it was just a day to let the ones that have been happening settle. I realize I'm being elusive, and I apologize -- I can't explain what's been going on. I can only say that it has been happening.

Turning back to the Japanimation silliness....

Barbara's daughter has confirmed that I did in fact write the kanji for "da"! Thanks, Julie!

Sorry Dave, you're just going to have to build your own shrine to the chicks of GundamW. As he mentioned on his site, we've been watching it on Cartoon Network. The voices are half-and-half -- in my opinion, no dub -- with the sole exception of the Princess Mononoke dub -- is going to ever meet up to the Japanese version. Even if I can't understand the language, I can pick up the nuances, and I think Japanese voice actors are pretty good. Half of the Gundam Wing voice actors are moderate to pretty good -- Noin has a great voice, so do Zechs and Heero -- but then characters like Relena show up, who is so piteously bad you keep yelling at Heero to just kill her and get it over with. Or the general who I swear to god sounded like Animal from the Muppets -- lucky for all of us he got killed off lickety split, but the damage is done.

In true Japanese fashion, none of the characters look the way their ethnic background dictates -- the Japanese character has blue eyes, the Middle Eastern character has blonde hair, and so on. The Chinese character does look Chinese, though. I realize I am flirting the edge of stereotyping here -- and, well, I am. But when you think "Japanese", do you think of someone with red hair and green eyes?

I rest my case.

So far I'm really not completely jazzed about the show -- I think I expected more from it, though the storyline is engaging enough that I keep coming back to see what happens next. None of the bishounen have popped out and grabbed me -- unlike, say, Chichiri or Tamahome or Tasuki -- but if I had to pick one I'd suffer a date with it would be Wufei. He kind of reminds me of Pick -- emotionally detached, cold, but infused with a certain deadpan charm all the same. Not to mention the fact that he seems to be the only character out of the lot with quarters for the clue machine.

Well, that's enough for now. Night all.

Images due to: W. Kids Photo Album and GundamWing.com

03.13.00 - I swear, this is the last Chichiri picture for a while. Really. I'll go build a Chichiri shrine so those of you who actually know what Fushigi Yuugi is can go visit it and the rest of you can thumb your noses at my hectic fascination with anime.

For the curious, this Chichiri is one I drew myself, on my work whiteboard, where it will be giving me happy guddorakku no da. I think he's saying "Da!", but since I can't read or write kanji, for all I know he's saying, "Steph don't know jack about kanji, no da!" Special note to coworkers: Please don't deface my Chichiri, or I will be forced to bite you. And you know I bite.

Note to self: Today is that day when things changed. Kind of like yesterday, and very similar to what will likely come tomorrow, but today is the day that I should remember the things changing.

I tried to read the Terry Brooks adaption of Star Wars: Episode I, but I just can't stand books where they constantly refer to characters by their titles, a la:

The Jedi Master swept the room with his Jedi-trained eyes. Calmly, he said, "Anyone got any cheese?"

03.11.00 - Someone is building a real live NEKO-BASU!!!! I almost want to go to the Burning Man so I can see it. (See: "My Neightbor Totoro" for more information on why the catbus is so cool.)

I declare today Chichiri Day as well! Live with it!

Tonight is Andy's housewarming party. Since it's a housewarming, I'm bringing candles.

I CAN'T BELIEVE SOMEONE IS BUILDING A REAL LIVE NEKOBASU!!!!

I think someone slipped me a little too much sugar. Poor Jeff couldn't keep up with me at dinner tonight. It must be the cat in me.

I know my mom is probably completely confused over her daughter's rapt fascination for Japanese cartoon characters. I don't know what to say, mom, and I don't even know that I can explain it. The Japanese form of artwork just strikes the, "Gosh that's neat/cute/cool/droolworthy!" chord in me. Blame the snacku -- this week in particular I seem to be hit rather hard. Not like I haven't warned you all in the past about my tendency to get obsessed with Japanese animation. Besides, everyone should have a Chichiri in their life no da!

I love my cat. I love that she jumps up on my lap with a little "Mrrrp". I love her any time she does it, even if I'm typing out a note about her. I love that she loves me so much that she expresses her affection by kneading my legs with her paws. But...

But I love her just a little more after I've clipped her claws short enough that she doesn't leave bloody welts in my leg after she's left me :)

Cats are Netjer's way of saying "I love you!" and "I know what you did last night when you thought I wasn't looking." -- all at once.

03.10.00 - Anime and 80s-style music madness continues! Lucky for Dave, Slick has yet to come retrieve his headphones, or he'd be listening to this song right now. It's one of those songs that's much better than it has any right to be. And it's in Japanese, which means I have no chance in hell of singing along with it while I'm at work. hee.

Chichiri!

There is really nothing to talk about here. The most exciting thing in my life right now is my plotting to go to California at the end of April. More as things come up.

Ever thought about hiking the Appalachian Trail? Ron and I talk about doing it someday, and we probably will. How I am going to convince my work to give me a month off, though -- that's a good question :)

03.09.00 - Yes, I'm a bit of a hypocrite. I raise my nose at the boy bands of the mid- to late 90s, but play A-ha's "Hunting High and Low" or The Church's "Under the Milky Way" and I get all weepy. I still have my old A-ha tape -- okay, so it's my sister's old A-ha tape -- yes, Cindy, the one you drew on the j-sleeve of -- a cute little heart around the pouting black-and-white head of Morten Harket. It's hard to believe that was fifteen years ago. I was ten once?

I think "Hunting High and Low" probably catches me because the lyrics almost seem to be an outline for the start of a really great fantasy novel. And that, my friends, is why I'm a writer: only I can extrapolate just what those three Swedish lads meant when they penned this lightweight 80s confection spun of acoustics, falsetto, and synth.

Selected snacku, shown above. (Click to enlarge.)

St. Charles, MO - Local St. Charles County police report today that they have seized over 10,000 kilos of illegal Japanese snacks, called "snacku" on the streets. Authorities tracked a shipment of "snacku" to a small games company in St. Charles, MO, which was serving as a front for two employees and alleged "snacku" dealers, Stephanie "I'm Persistent, Not Relentless!" Cass and "Belligerent" Dave Dean.

Both claim to be completely innocent, despite the fact that both were caught divying up their cut of the "snacku", and Ms. Cass was even caught trying to addict her fellow coworkers by bringing Pucca -- a kind of chocolate-and-pretzel snacku -- to meetings and handing it out while stating ominously, "The first one is free...."

When pressed as to where they acquired their "snacku", the two alleged consumers replied Pockotaku and added that, if they did have the money and the craving again when they get out of jail, that they most likely will purchase from this company again.

Pockotaku had no commment.

03.08.00 - Well, hey, I was actually wrong about some copyright things I said the other day. It's not going to stop me from sending mail to people who scam my content, but for your personal edification, I present a site with the Ten Myths of Copyright Laws, Dear Reader.

I feel a little bit like I'm back in college or high school with my Fushigi Yuugi and Rurouni Kenshin posters hanging on the wall behind me in my cubicle.

I did not forget my mom's birthday today, my Dear Siblings will be pleased to read. In fact, I ordered her gift a couple hours ago, and it should arrive sometime in the next few days. And if it doesn't, then I'll just have to do something violent to some poor shop owner in Palm Desert, CA.

With all this mooville stuff happening, cows are on the brain.

03.07.00 - Take a deep breath, enter the amount, and hit "OK". Voila, my bills are paid.

I'm lousy at remembering to pay my bills. I'm just lazy that way. It's the same with doctor's appointments and housecleaning. It's so easy to put it off until it's too late. You'd think with my mother -- the banker and fanatical house cleaner -- I'd be the exact opposite, but I think my sister Cindy soaked up all the domestic and financial responsibility genes before I was born. Drat!

So far I'm still wary of MSN's Bill Pay Service, but if they can keep me paying things on time I'll admit that there's a second MS product I like (the other being MS-WORD, even if it wasn't really written for the writer in mind).

And for more pleasant and appetizing discussion -- the FloNase is helping my allergies, but I see blood every time I blow my nose. Which is actually really fascinating to look at, but not too appealing for discussion on one's website.

I'm thinking about entering the 5k contest. Still pondering it. All I know is that whatever I enter probably won't look like this.

03.06.00 - Tim O'Reilly with an interesting conversation with Jeff Bezos (you know, that guy who owns Amazon.com?). Reading it just kind of depresses me all over again insofar as big business goes. Sigh.

Will this patent thing keep me from shopping at Amazon? Not really. Am I going to change my associates programs? No. I'm grumpy and tweaked that Mr. Bezos has to resort to these sorts of things, but I can see where he's coming from, annoying as it is. It's the lesser of two evils; and to be honest, I've never gotten anything but stellar service from Amazon.com -- whereas Barnes and Noble, well, we won't go there.

And on another level I can relate -- due to the nature of the Web, I have to do monthly checks to make sure people aren't lifting the content I provide. I have friends who have horrible times keeping their artwork from being stolen, and I won't tell you how many times I've seen the Kemet.org glossary of the Names put onto someone else's site without so much as a letter or a source siting.

Anyway, why should you care? Because if you don't go after people, you can lose the copyright to your work. Which means someone could take what I've spent endless hours working on, put their name on it, and sell it. And that sucks.

But it's happened. Unfortunately. Open source is wonderful. Open source is terrible. And I'm not sure I'd have it any other way.

So what did I do this weekend? Well, I had really kick ass food. Saturday we went to Babalu's and I had duck legs with chile-fig sauce (it tastes a lot better than it sounds). Dave ordered what I fancy would be the perfect food for a Set child: rum and ginger glazed pork chops. For dessert...well, Bubba was with us, and he decided he wanted one of everything, so we had:

• Lime and ginger flan.
• Key lime cream cheese pie.
• Chocolate torte.
• Roasted banana ice cream.
• Mexican chocolate ice cream.
• Lemon fool with mango and blueberry compote.

03.05.00 - Not much to say today. Still entertaining friends.

But hey, more stuff is coming.

(That page is kind of funny if you've ever played Diablo.)

03.02.00 - I'm having a blah day.

Blah.

I just want to lie down and sleep. I don't want to do anything. As the day winds on, I don't even want to talk to anyone or be anywhere. Blah.

It's a superficial blah. I know this, because I'm finding myself glancing at beauty websites inbetween work. The temporary fix: apply glitter to my face. The long-term: let it slide. My make-up fetish kicking in. Blah. Blah blah blah!

The Aetherbunny is coming to town tomorrow. Expect no updates until Monday, unless I get bored or intoxicated sometime this weekend.

The Guano Apes CD is not bad. I'm a little half-and-half on it. On one hand I do like some of the songs, on the other I get the feeling they're pushing too hard to sound like they're rappers. It's sort of the album Radio Iodine wishes they had put out, and the songs are not your standard songs. The lead singer has a really fantastic voice, and the arrangements are great, but -- um, y'know, I just am not into hip-hop or rap, dig?

Dig.

I found out last night I suck at Hearts. But there was a blackberry Italian soda and a mug of caramel hot chocolate there to nurse my wounded ego, so it wasn't that bad.

03.01.00 - It's amazing how things change, hm?

Speaking of change, this is the preliminary stage of the updated version of the Notes page. Mind you, the Notes page was originally neither a weblog nor a links page -- it was supposed to be my updates-to-the-site-itself page, which it sort of still is. Except it's not. So when I put it together initially, it was literally something I slapped together in under an hour. I used a draw tool for the crude happy face, and the Wichita font (modeled from the handwriting of the lead singer of Soul Coughing) from CHANK font foundry. Why Wichita? Well, because it reminded me of my handwriting without looking like it.

The story of my handwriting: Like all good kids I was taught cursive in elementary school. And cursive I did up until grade seven or eight. And then one day I realized that where the handwriting of other girls in my class had bloomed into beautiful swans...oh, wait, wrong analogy. Let's put it this way -- I never acquired that curvaceous, thick handwriting that most girls seem to be genetic inheritors to. My handwriting was really, really bad. But I also noticed how crisp and clean my stepfather's handwriting was; it was an all-caps type print, very easy to read. And it looked cool. So I decided that day I wasn't going to write cursive anymore.

Changing your handwriting isn't easy -- it's like learning how to type, you have to force a muscle memory into your hands until you can do it in your sleep. I had made the decision I wanted neat, clean handwriting, and so I forced myself to print carefully in all caps. This resulted in two things with me, one good and one bad: 1) I got lots of compliments on my handwriting and 2) I suddenly couldn't keep up with taking notes in class.

And that, my friends, is one of the reasons I hated school in all its many-graded flavors. I couldn't keep up with the note-taking because, to this day, I have neat, easy to read handwriting that takes time to do. It's mutated a little -- sometimes I do loopy "g"'s and "a"'s -- but it's still very neat and clean. I'm proud of it.

I changed my signature around that time to include the big happy "S", but that's another story. I was also drawing larks on my signatures back then, which is an even longer story. The cat didn't show up until I was nineteen or so.

So anyway, what I'm saying is -- I invested a little more time in this version of the happy lucky Notes page. And that has made all the difference.