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writings
my essay on Bast, thoughts on aromatherapy, what this page is about, reviews of stuff, and an old archive of Vents images my art page, photos from Wag 2000, and the daily image of the day for the day cast I really ought to do this, eh? misc contact information, and maybe even banners someday
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I opted not to go to the New Year's party tonight. I wanted to see everyone, but I've been running around and going places since Thanksgiving, and something had to give. Sorry everyone. I just need some "me" time. (Consider, for example, that I used up all of my vacation time in 2000, and out of those 15 vacation days, only 1 was spent for a personal vacation -- March 15th, if you want to check the archives -- the rest was spent on going to visit other people.) I cleaned out the boxes in the living room. Next I have to do a lot of laundry, and put away my clothes. Tomorrow I have off. I may make champagne sorbet. We'll see. >> 7:40:44 PM Meatball and Mozzarella Lean Pockets are surprisingly good, cook in 2.5 minutes, and have only 7 grams of fat (but a ton of sodium). My new favorite freezer food for when I'm feeling lazy. I had tonsilitis when I was fourteen during the summer I spent with my grandparents in Ohio. The condition was extremely painful, and the doctors gave me huge, cherry-flavored pills to suck on for it, which didn't really help much. I remember my Mima trying to give me some of her fabulous soup, and even that was hard to get down. Anyone who's had it knows what I'm talking about. It wasn't a sore throat in the sense of rawness; it was a swelled throat, which meant that every time I swallowed it felt like someone was squeezing on my neck. Despite this, at first I was actually excited that I had tonsilitis. I thought it was going to be my big chance to finally go to the hospital. Oh, you may think this is an odd thought, but my association with hospitals up until them had consisted of two things -- visits to see my dad when he was at work in the cardiology wing and television dramas. I hadn't ever been to a hospital as a patient. But primarily, it was my curiosity that made me welcome this shining hospital opportunity, for my first ill-formed fourteen year old thought when I realized just what was going on with my body was -- this is it, I can finally try and fight anesthesia. See, I had read in elementary school an account by Bill Cosby (I think) where he had been put under anesthesia to take his tonsils out. And I had thought I wanted to try that just to see how long I could resist it. I wanted to give the nurse heart palpitations when, after counting down from one hundred, I reached "1" still alert and still fighting anesthesia. I wanted to impress the doctor with my incredible fourteen year old will. These are the strange fantasies and curiosities that go through the head of a fourteen year old girl who does not yet know she's doomed to be a writer. That, and -- damn this hurts! TakeThemOutTakeThemOutTakeThemOUT! The story, however, goes no further. I never got to go under anesthesia, and today I'm kind of glad I didn't. While there is a part of me that still wants to know what it's like (Fight anesthesia!!), the other part of me thinks I ought to keep as much of my original body parts with me as I can since, as far as I know, that's the way things were intended (though I'm not adverse to lopping something off if it's necessary). Anyway, you can thank my Mom for not allowing them to take my tonsils out. Despite the torture that tonsilitis was then -- and I mean, it was painful -- she was not in the least bit happy with the idea of her daughter going under anesthesia. Even if I would have fought it. >> 2:38:45 PM
(mumble)...GemStone...(mumble)...crash...(mumble)...on call this weekend...(mumble).... Mental note to self. Send mail tomorrow to the other OSGMs about what crashed GS3 this morning. (yawn) (mumble) >> 5:17:14 AM Shenmue...sucking...soul...oh wait, I already did that one. I'm up to disc two. I'm at the part that I'm calling "Metal Gear Shenmue". I love/hate these parts. It always gets my heart going, sneaking around dark areas in games. Thief did that to me, Metal Gear Solid did it, and Rogue Spear -- crimeny. My blood-curdling screams of game-induced surprise would ring loudly through the office anytime my operative was a) the last one surviving and/or b) I turned the corner and saw a terrorist standing there. Come to think of it, I decided against playing Thief for two reasons. One was that the sneaking stuff was giving me heart palpitations. The other was that the beginning of the second level involves a dungeon crawl through a zombie-infested abandoned mine. That right there contains a couple of things that throw me for a loop -- undead of any fleshy sort (zombies! aaaaah! ick! ick! ick!), sneaking around with the risk of being apprehended/caught/killed, and abandoned/haunted anything. In games, that is. I mean, I think if I saw a zombie in real life...I'd, uh, turn around and walk the other way (cuz everyone knows zombies have really poor eye-hand coordination). But anyone who's been near me when I'm playing this stuff knows what I'm talking about. I freely admit that I scream in terror whenever I turn a corner in a 3D environment and -- aieee! Zombie-a-go-go! Gives me the willies! And watching it -- gak. Watching Jeff play Thief II is the equivalent of watching a horror movie for me. The sound effects, constant skulking, and threat of discovery drives me crazy. Kind of like horror movies. I can repeat to myself the itsjustamovie mantra all I like -- ultimately, my imagination will get in the way and render me shrieking at some point if the atmosphere of the film is right. So while I know Jeff said I could play Shenmue while he's asleep (the Dreamcast is in his bedroom), I think he wouldn't appreciate my B-Movie Queen Scream every time one of the security guards apprehends poor, Steph-guided Ryo for tresspassing in the warehouse district. So I'm going to bed now. Kyoko says hi. Did I mention I had five cups of coffee during dinnertime? >> 3:06:40 AM
If only all movies were this good. >> 9:14:38 PM Okay, maybe Orphen: Scion of Sorcery isn't a good enough reason to buy a PS2 after all. Heh. Cute review. >> 8:02:17 PM Nearly five years ago, I went to E3 and met a fella who, at the time, I knew as That Guy Who Programmed ArchMage. Then I moved to St. Charles, and he turned into That Guy In the Programmer Pit Who I Remembered From E3. Then, over the course of many emails and random encounters, he became One of the Many Daves At the Office. Years passed, and I, working nights and thus cut off from most of the office, saw him on a sporadic basis, just like the rest of the office. Throughout my time here, he has been one of those constants that you grow accustomed to being there. He is a part of the core group here, was part of the small, quiet group that gathered at the hospital to mark Nora's passing, and he always offers up interesting, intelligent, and articulate conversation. He never got upset if I called him on my shift to say that GemStone III has, once again, crashed. He was one of those people that, when you find out that you've been assigned to sit next to him at the company party/function, you don't mind because you know that a) he won't smell and b) he'll have something lively to say. Today is his last day here, and as I sometimes do when something is happening that I don't like to think about, I've been mostly avoiding that fact. But since I don't think he'd mind, I have to say this -- Dave Metzener, it was an honor working with you. Your work ethic and intelligence has always been something I have admired. Thanks for all the hard work you put in for us, and I wish you the best in your endeavors elsewhere. Your presence in my life has never been regretted. Thank you. :) >> 1:01:46 PM Shenmue...sucking soul...can't...resist.... Ankhka is coming home. Thank God. His cat is crazy for attention. She seems to think I'm going to give it to her, too. And, truth be told, I do, but not in the copious, doting quantities that Dave does. Tips From Authors
Almost is a wishy-washy term. Kind of like "appears to be". These are the sorts of things I weed out when I go over my first drafts. There's a lot of weak terms like that. I try to avoid beautiful, good, bad, light, and dark for the same reasons. Those five are so often used they've lost most of their value. Not that they should go out of use, but you can usually find a better word without sounding pretentious or like you got a thesauras for Christmas. (I don't count journal entries, by the way, under my almost/weak terms laws. I write these all down very quickly with only minor editing. The words still go past my natural revision instincts, but for the most part I don't spend as much time on a six-paragraph weblog entry as I would a six-thousand or eight-thousand word story.) That's been stuck in my head for the last few days. Just thought I'd mention it. >> 1:14:14 AM
I'm glad you're home, Corey :) >> 12:47:46 PM Deify Plums Got in fine last night. I had asked Jeff before I got home if the cats had done anything catastrophic, but he said no, they hadn't. Which didn't seem right to me (cats tend to get very fidgety when their owners leave, and usually do something evil in retaliation), but I was happy to hear that, for once, they hadn't done anything. He forgot to check downstairs. I won't go into the details. We'll just say it was more cat crap than I think I've seen in my whole life, but it's cleaned up now. Blech. On the bright side, they seem to be a lot more buddy-buddy now (the cats, that is). And Amber was very pleased to see me. I played Soul Calibur until my thumb started screaming, then switched to Shenmue. Oh. My. God. I don't know why it's so fun to walk around town, talking to people and picking up stuff, but it's fun. There's a lot of detail in this thing. It's very impressive. And I like the fight system. I don't know when I put it in, but the next thing I knew it was two a.m. and all I'd gotten into was one fight. If you own a Dreamcast and you like adventure/RPG games, it's definitely something I'd recommend right now (still haven't finished it, so can't say if the total experience lives up to what I've done so far). By the way, if you're a writer or considering it, might I recommend On Writing by Stephen King? I don't completely agree with his theories on how to plot, but the rest of the stuff in there is very good, and it's even entertaining, dammit. My thumb hurts. If you've sent me email in the last week and are still waiting for a response, I'll try to get to it tonight (our DSL was down last evening). For now I'll leave you with this image by Elfwood artist Niamh O'Connor. Whee!
Stop it if you can Run away Run away
What is it about Mel Gibson and my vacation? We watched The Patriot (which I'm pretty sure originally had the working title of The Ghost) and...really, I wasn't all that jazzed by it. I liked Mel's performance, and the story was pretty good, but I didn't really feel connected to the film. It was aspiring toward Braveheart but forgot two of the things that made that film great: dialogue (or lack thereof at times, in the case of Braveheart -- we didn't need speeches about using brutality from Longshanks to know what a twisted bastard he was), and incredible battle scenes. I just wasn't stirred. I didn't care. And what is it about Hollywood writers that they think that one slash to the torso -- a slash, mind you, not a stab -- kills your foe instantly? Slashes can kill, but it's unlikely, and certainly not 100% of the time. Those must have been pretty damn sharp sabres, let me tell you. It's annoying that the director went to such excessive effort to show off cannonballs striking down people, then resorted to the single slash of a sword to take out fifty people. Hrm. Someone is implying that this looks like me. I think her eggnog expired and she didn't notice. Really, my hair isn't at all blue. Jeff got home safe. Thwew. Just gotta make it home myself, now. We shipped off the stand mixer...it should arrive Monday to me. There was no way I was carrying twenty pounds of machinery on the plane with me. Twenty pounds of delicious, snow-white, chrome-and-stainless-steel construction....mmmmmmmmmm. Kitchenaid! Mom's going to be sad tomorrow. Nothing I can do about that. I'm sorry, mom. : We watched a couple episodes of History Channel's series on the Rockies (that would be the Northern America mountain range, not the boxing films of varying virtue). It made me rethink some of what I'm doing with the book outline...which I have no abandoned, for the curious. Burping Mexican food, but at least it's the good stuff. Time for bed; long day tomorrow. Night :) >> 12:50:38 AM
You say thank you. Thank you. Add to that a copy of Soul Calibur (Welcome back...to the stage of history....) from my sister and her husband, a fabulous black crystal necklace from my other sister, a pen with a cat on top of it from my brother, and yet more fabulous stuff from my grandmother (who really, really shouldn't have). It was a very good day. I'm a lucky person. I go back on Weds. My last post will probably be tomorrow for a while. My family will miss me. I'll miss my family. My cat, however, is very likely going to shred me when I get back. >> 1:24:53 AM
I'd add more -- like a short review of the film -- but the computer is making funny sounds. My brother installed another 64 megs of RAM in it today, but I think something isn't quite tightened correctly. I'm going to leave off now. I will say this, though...damn, I wish I got the Food channel. Not just for Iron Chef, and certainly not for Emeril (I think the guy's kind of annoying live, to be honest), but there are some other terrific shows that I love to catch. That, and I really want to see Morimoto whip Bobby Flay's ass again in the next Iron Chef special (you just know Bobby's gonna go down harder than a White Star cruise liner). My hair is still short. My poor roommate has the flu, but at least he made it to Texas safely. Meanwhile, my other roommate's site is vaporware. I hope he's doing okay. It's not my holiday, as was so eloquently stated in today's Daily Devotions, but regardless I will be spending Christmas Day with my family, playing games, swapping stories, opening gifts, taunting the five-year-old, and eating. And on Tuesday, my brother and I will have sushi and see Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, continuing a long tradition of he and I going to see killer films after eating killer Japanese food. >> 3:05:26 AM
She finds ways to squeeze me into our mutually busy schedules. The conversations are usually very simple and are thus all the more profound. And personal. How is it I managed to find quiet time to be alone with God in the midst of relatives wanting to see me? Don't ask. She managed it. I am grateful, and humble, for Her doing this for me. It's like turning up a corner of the rug of the universe and seeing the emerald Eye of God looking back. I find words lacking in these instances. Just in case any of you were wondering why I didn't mention Her these last two days, even though they were Bast festivals; I have been, I just haven't been saying Her name. I saw two fantastic episodes of Iron Chef, after all. That, in and of itself, is a sign that She is out, about, and in charge. :) >> 2:59:22 AM Eureka! I have copper-auburn streaklets in my hair now and my brows are shaped. Sometimes it's good being the country mouse with a city mouse beautician for a sister. Mom and Mark bought me my shoes for the year. A set of wonderful Clarks for summer, and some Easy Spirit half-boots to round out the winter, as well as some absolutely fantastic Easy Spirit slippers. Like walking on air. I highly recommend them to anyone who experiences tired feet at the end of the day. And I finished my shopping for the year. Not to mention I bought some goodies at Trader Joes and got to see yet another historical Iron Chef battle -- the Overtime Scallion Battle between Morimoto and Yamashita, sake master of the OPHE, a school of ultra-conservative Japanese chefs who despise Morimoto's fusion cooking! I love it when the OPHE shows up to scoff at Morimoto's cooking. Even better is when Morimoto proceeds to beat them into the ground like tent poles. Bwahahahahaha. It's great. Fabulous!!! I love cooking. I love Japanese culture. You couldn't have picked a more perfect show for me. >> 2:51:45 AM
My hair is short. Cut wet to shoulder-length, it curled up slightly at the ends when it dried and is now chin-length. I think this is the shortest I've had it since I was...oh...nine. It looks cute, though. I may stick with it for a while. It has more bounce at this length. Watched a historical Iron Chef; the one where Chairman Kaga-san boycotted the competition because his Iron Chefs had lost so often recently (they were down six to three). Mark and Mom watched it with me. Very exciting! Though mom looked a bit green when they revealed the theme ingredient (whole, gutted baby pigs). But that roasted piglet Chen-san made looked sooooo good. It's weird having short hair. I shake my head and I can feel the tips bouncing against the nape of my neck. Brush brush brush. I keep shaking it. I'm not used to it. Tomorrow, one last shopping endeavor and then I'm done. Going to buy mom her gift. Yay. :) >> 1:19:47 AM
Today we made pumpkin bread, lemon bars, chocolate drops, and buttermilk sugar cookies (which I decorated with my nephew and a gallon of icing). (Um...on second thought, let me reword that sentence. My nephew and I decorated them with a gallon of icing. Didn't want to give any of you visions of me using my nephew as some sort of weird paintbrush with which to frost the sugar cookies.) (Though, on third thought, that is kind of a funny thought, innit?) (And, on fourth thought, most of the frosting did wind up either on him or in him.) Anyway -- tomorrow -- haircut and dye (I'm going to go for red highlights), last minute gift buying (Brett, Jenny, Mom, Mark), and jam thumbprints. And then no more baking. I'm all baked out. That's just the way the, uh, cookie crumbles. Heh. Suz, I say "Happy Holidays" (and please don't be offended) because Christmas isn't my holiday, but I do still participate in the season, as it were. I feel conspicuous (I can't spell on this keyboard :P) saying "Merry Christmas" because it's really not my holiday, and because there are about four other holidays people celebrate this time of year, and to exclude them when I'm not celebrating any of them officially seems off to me. If I know the religion of the person I'm talking to, I vary the blessing. Merry Christmas. Happy Hanukkah. Happy Kwanzaa. Merry Solstice. Of course, if I were directing it to me, it would probably be: "Whoo hoo! I made it out of -40 degree weather for a week!" I'm just sayin'! >> 3:38:14 AM
When we got into San Diego and the plane started its landing procedure, we abruptly banked upward. Another plane was on the runway, the captain informed us, despite the fact that they'd been given clearance to land. Hmmm. Well, vertical climbs aren't completely unusual. I did breathe a sigh of relief when we landed, though. And we rolled off the runway. And sat. And sat. Our gate was still occupied, the captain informed us. The plane eating up our gate-space had some mechanical problems that needed to be signed off. "But don't worry," he informed us. "The airport closes for departures in 20 minutes, so they'll be trying to get out of here quick." Ummmm...okay. I had thought the problems would be with St. Louis -- Land of Inclement Elements -- rather than San Diego...which appears to be Land of Much Bureaucracy. I landed safely, though. Just wanted you all to know! :) I've been listening to (and enjoying) tracks from Naked Mind by Seki Tomokazu and Stella by Zazel (aka the Artist Formerly Known as Koyasu Takehito). If this keeps up, I'm going to have to actually buy the CDs (wail!). Meanwhile, I've come up with a mixed drink I like a lot. Enjoy. Sunshine in a Glass Cut orange into quarters, set knife to one side. Put a couple pieces of ice in a tall glass, and fill 2/3rds with soda. Squeeze orange into glass, drop used-up quarters into your garbage disposal (it'll smell great when you grind them up). Stir with knife (you are now cleared to put the knife in the sink). Aaaand drink! Okay, so maybe it's not a Kamikaze or a Shirley Temple, but it's really good. Mmmm. Orange. I bet it'd be great with a little vodka, but since I'm not in the mood for playing stomach cramp roulette, I'm going with the virgin version, thanks.
yowasete kure... kiseki no hana yo!
Ankhka should be landing in Indianapolis about now. Jeff and I saw him off earlier, and then found a Souper Salad for lunch, where we had soup and salads and potatoes and a conversation with our server that involved sequoias. Still coughing, but the worst of the cold is over. The lasagne was really good. Everything was good, really -- a most exceptional spread of fine samplings. I didn't have one bad thing, and I have to say -- Bubba's au grautin potatoes kick ass. And what can I say about the gifts? I'm once more speechless. I received many wonderful things -- many of them unexpected. I already used the scale for measuring out the ingredients for a stretch mark oil I'm making for my sister, and the books -- I love every book I got!!! Especially the Cats in the Sun collection. Wonderful! Anyway, it's soon going to be time for me to head off. Things to finish up before I go, and then I'm leaving on a jet plane for sunny California. Until later, Dear Reader.... >> 4:45:32 PM
Sauce Assemblage Just before assembling the lasagne, boil 10 oz. (about 15 noodles) until they're al dente (10-12 minutes). Get a pound of shredded mozzarella from the fridge. Take a small amount of the sauce and wipe it across the bottom of your lasagne pan. If you're planning on keeping the pan for use another day, you may consider spraying it lightly with Pam or something to keep the noodles and cheese from sticking. The layers of a lasagne are uber important. They go in this order:
And now I have to go upstairs and clean up the mess in my kitchen. >> 1:43:08 AM
Ah, finally, a translation to "Scarlet", the first opening song of Ayashi no Ceres. This is a good resource. Lots of translations :) >> 2:38:53 AM The quote of the evening came from Andy's holiday party, when John Ratcliff said (paraphrased):
It was a great party. Very relaxing. It was a very good day for me. :) >> 12:48:04 AM
When I woke up -- that would be the moment when I stop trying to go back to sleep and decide it's time to open my eyes -- I realized Kioko was lying across my legs. Okay, not too unusual -- she likes to sleep on my bed between early mid-day to late afternoon, whether I'm in it or not. But a moment after I attained consciousness, Amber jumped up next to me, laid down against my side, and put her head on my arm. Then Ki, who couldn't be outdone by the elder feline, decided to walk up and lay down on my chest. So I have two of them, purring and demanding my attention, and both of them are giving sideways glances at the other, trying to determine if the other is a threat. I guess I am to warring cats what churches are to the Immortals in the Highlander series. I can see it now. Kioko jumps up onto my chest, leans over to nip at Amber who's curled up next to me, and Amber turns at her and growls, "No fighting on holy ground!" Hm. Anyway, I survived. Maybe this is a good sign. I don't think they'll ever get along famously, but they seem able to tolerate each other amiably. >> 3:16:44 PM
One of the songs -- I can't remember ever having heard it until today, but I knew the words to it. In fact, I've been singing that one line -- All the lonely people.... -- my whole life, and I can't ever recall hearing the song "Eleanor Rigby" before. Funny what we pick up without knowing it.
Picks up the rice in a church where the wedding has been Lives in a dream.... Cardcaptor Sakura is too cute for words. The animation is great, the voice acting is great, and despite the fact that it's a formulaic concept -- magical girl capturing monsters/creatures every episode with a cute sidekick and various friends -- it's a welcome change to watch an animé that's this...gentle. Sweet. Charming. I don't think I'd like it as much if the art wasn't so good and the stories weren't so sublime. It was just really cute. It's something I'd let my kids watch, since the four episodes I watched really had a lot to do about responsibility and fears and having a crush on older boys. :) And the morals -- such as they were -- were at once more subtle and better articulated than, say, Pokémon. What can I say? I'm a Cancer. Like all Cancers, I've got a hard shell and a soft underside. And claws to nip your nose off with. (clack clack) On the downside, I tried to register my car today, and found out that Missouri now has two inspections you have to acquire -- one you can get just about anywhere, and the other only at a specific location that they designate. Due to financial issues in the last few months (I took a loan out with the company for the move and have had $100 pulled from each paycheck since September in order to pay it back quickly) I was unable to afford registration ($159), and so before October came to an end and my car's registration expired I got it inspected, put it in the driveway, and stopped driving it until I had the money to afford registration. Now that I can afford it, however, I find out I don't have all the inspections I need done. That, in fact, I need to take my unregistered car to some location fifteen miles away to get an inspection I didn't know had to be done (I had thought the inspection I got included the other since it seemed to indicate in the fine print that it did -- sigh). In short, I don't like driving my car when it's against the law to do so, but I have no choice because Missouri changed its laws without me noticing. My fault, but it's still annoying and frustrating. I thought I'd taken measures to prevent this from happening, and I feel dumb for not noticing that I needed the additional inspection. Oh well. When you lose, don't lose the lesson, right? Packages away! I sent out a couple packages today. Yay me. And a $50 rebate check showed up. So not all is lost, and the cats are happy, and so everything is good. :) >> 6:44:29 PM Ack. The office is closing, the sleet is getting worse. I'm outta here. Back later. >> 12:20:39 PM
Chiisaki mono mamoru tame Kyou mo dareka ga sakebu Kono inochi sae mo nagedashi Toki no naka de moetsukiru Sono isshun ni kuchi-zuke wo Over the course of two weeks I've had a grand total of three pleasant but X-rated dreams, featuring everything from total strangers to Ron to a Japanese voice actor I like. To my knowledge, this is the first time in my life that I've ever had pleasant X-rated dreams, and it's -- well, pleasant, but disruptive. Maybe my subconscious is trying to tell me something. Anyway, still sick. Still coughing and sneezing. Tired today. Back at work. Headachey. Distracted. Good to have gotten the day off, I'm sure it helped with the cold, but kind of wishing I had the vacation day and the time to do it again. Unfortunately, there's just too much to be done here at work. It occured to me today that Jeff Dobson looks an awful lot like Kid Rock. Or maybe it's just his mannerisms. I dunno. Anyone else who knows him who could agree with this allegory? >> 3:49:22 PM
What if I was myself another rapist? A serial killer? And let's face it, if you aren't willing to do work, to help others, saying you'd die for them is a pretty hollow gesture. Saying you'd work yourself to death might mean more -- but how much more would it mean to tell someone you'd live for them? When it comes down to it, dying is easy. Snap. Living a life worthy of being remembered, being mourned for, being loved after death -- hm. That's another matter. >> 10:05:28 PM We're snowed in here in Missouri. The snow is very high, and the plowing is only just begun -- we do, however, have provisions, and we should be heading back to work tomorrow. I'm still sick. I think the stuff is working, though. It no longer feels quite like battery acid when I use it, and I definitely feel a lot better today. Ankhka and I played 17 rounds of Bust-a-Move in the pvp mode, and I won 10 of them, which is very strange. I usually win 1 out of 10. Either that cold medicine is better than I thought, or he was off today. We also watched the end of the SciFi channel's Dune mini-series. While the production value was cheesy at times -- the mouse which Paul acquired his Fremen name from looked like a CGI model someone forgot to put a texture on, and the matte paintings were really obvious -- and there seemed to be parts of the story that would only make sense to someone who had read the book, I enjoyed it. I looked forward to it. I liked the development of Paul. I liked the pacing. I want to read the book now. Comparing it to the David Lynch fiasco is hard for me, because I don't remember most of that thing. I'm not a huge Lynch fan. I think he's overrated. What I do remember of Lynch's Dune, though, is Kyle MacLachlan, and I didn't like him much. Alec Newman was much more dishy, and took his shirt off more often. Oooh. Yeah. Diggin' on the Mahdi. Almost time for another squirt of battery acid. And I should start making dinner. Mmm. Beef mushroom soup.
Only I will remain.
guh. guh. guh. guh. baddabuhguhgoobumamamama... Guh! Okay. One nostril down. ... ... ... Thwew. Left nostril appears to be lest reactive than the right. Ugh. Okay. Back to the grind. >> 6:06:39 PM So my nemesis gave me a cold. I woke up this morning fine, and by the time I got to work I was sneezing and had a sore throat. Initial diagnosis was an allergy attack, but as it progressed and acquired the sore throat, the slight cough, and the aching jaw, I knew it wasn't. I'm trying a new remedy this time around, recommended by at least three people here in the office. We'll see if Zicam works. I had the same reaction to it when I used it as I did with the allergy medicines I hated as a child -- it felt like I was squirting battery acid up my nose. I'll give status reports as the day wears on. My next dose is in two hours. Oooooh. Can't wait. I got a new clock. I've had the old alarm clock since I was in high school (no kidding), and finally decided to get a new one. So when we were at Bed, Bath, and Beyond (which is an evil, EVIL place!) I bought myself the tastiest clock you ever laid ears on. The six natural sounds it can play to help you sleep are not high-quality samples, but if you turn them down low you don't really notice. The ocean sound is a little depressing, though. I put that on the first night, and got an interesting lesson in the memories that certain sounds and scents can trigger. I lived next to the ocean for a good chunk of my life, and I realized how much I'd missed listening to the waves at night. The ocean is a mother, after all, and it's good I'm going back to California in a week. I miss my mother. >> 4:07:14 PM Religion Talk Back at the old place, my Akhu (ancestor) shrine looked like this. I haven't set it back up yet because I didn't have a shrine for my Parent until very recently, and it would have been (I felt) inappropriate to have a full shrine to my ancestors, but not my Parent. But since that's now been fixed, I'll be reestablishing the Akhu shrine sometime this week or weekend. I haven't forgotten them or stopped feeding them, but the official shrine has been down for a while while things here sorted themselves out. I also can't approach the shrine for a little bit because I am still on my menses. For those of you not of the faith, any person who is bleeding is not supposed to perform the official rites of my religion -- not because I'm a filthy woman, but because blood has enormous power and can draw the attention of things you don't want to draw the attention of. Ergo, for about a week a month I don't go near my Akhu shrine or my shrine to my Parent, though I do continue to pray outside the shrine and during meals. This is not a get-out-of-religion-free card, but a time when I simply cannot do the official things for the sake of myself and my household. On one hand, I could be annoyed by this and disgruntled that, because I had the fate of being born female, I get excluded from a very part of my day-to-day life. We've had probationers who have come in thinking that we hate women or something because of this, which just isn't true. Blood is blood -- if a man sliced his arm open, he wouldn't be able to do shrine until the wound had sealed up. Blood has enormous power. It holds our genetic code, it keeps us warm, it is the liquid of our life. So I could be annoyed by this, but instead I find it a good time to reflect on why the daily rite is so important to me. And in that respect, I think it's an important monthly affair. Men don't get a chance to step back and observe the importance of the ritual once a month. Women do. It's something to think about. Anyway, I'm fricking freezing down here in the first level of the house. It's 10 degrees outside, and it's my bedtime. If I can, I'll clarify this in the morning a little more, since there's more I could say, but can't cuz I'm c-c-c-c-c-cold! >> 2:03:07 AM
"Villains! Stand down from the funk!" We're collecting a tidy sum of sounds with Dave's minidisc recorder. We're such geeks. :) >> 4:05:19 PM Ah, the daily synchronization of the site. Grabbing all those files is time-consuming, but it gives me a moment to blog while my machine churns away. It's cold and blizzardy outside, but not nearly as bad as it is up north. We're getting the tail of Chicago's tiger. Stay warm, all you Chicago people! I may have to head home early if the weather keeps up like this. >> 3:56:55 PM
It's a bit of a pain, trying to be cool about the whole wishlist thing, isn't it? On one hand, you make it because you have family and friends who complain you're so hard to buy for -- on the other, you don't want to advertise about it because you look like you're pandering for gifts. But on the other hand, there's a Stephanie in Fontana, and a Stephanie who appears to be about eight years old, and I don't want anybody mixing up me with them (especially since the Stephanie in Fontana has similar music tastes). Ah well. Ratcliff Party! What can I say? I'm not nearly as creative as Jeff or Ankhka, so I'm going to just let their creativity steal the spotlight, and be simple -- this one was the best of the three I've gone to. It was very warming to see a lot of old friends again. I miss them, but then, there's nothing stopping me from heading out to where they are and seeing them (except maybe cashflow). Highlight of the evening? I guess that would have to be when Susan "stole" the Ra-Heru-Akhety blanket and handed it to me, telling me that Dave had made a deal with her to exchange the blanket for his fountain. The fact that I'd actually picked Susan's gift fifteen people before her was also somewhat amusing. (Once again, I manage to pick a gift that is perfect for me -- the first year being tea and cat mugs, and the second one massage therapy tickets -- though to be fair, that was a group "win".) Of course, to say that was a highlight would be to imply that there weren't other great things going on -- which I can assure you, there were. Had it not been for the blanket exchange, I would have told you instead about nearly dying from laughter after hearing the extremely rich fiction of Jeff Dobson and Ben Hansen, or the surprised and touched look on my face when John Ratcliff presented me with a lifesize bust of Nefertiti's head, or the collective sound of jaws dropping when the Sony DVD player gift was unwrapped (followed immediately by Curtis "I'm Number Five!" Cannell yelling, "That thing is SO mine, man!"). Oh yeah, baby. The Dreadnought guitar was another fine touch. And Suz somehow wound up with what I picked out. All in all, I think this was the best one for several reasons...one was that I wasn't onduty. The other is that I was properly rested. The third is that I didn't get sick or feel ill. And finally, it was just great seeing a lot of familiar faces again, and finding out what they've been doing. I also sang "Greensleeves". Well, sort of. So that was the Ratcliff party, and I have to say...it was fantastic. >> 2:42:18 PM
Y'know, I restrained myself from posting something like this at least twice in the last three weeks about his music...yes, one of us does have to get headphones. ;) See, Dave and I have similar music tastes. Similar -- off by only mere milimeters. This tiny fraction, you'd think, wouldn't be a problem -- but it is. We're off just enough so that when one plays something the other doesn't like, it's time to start contemplating either writing a journal entry blasting the other's music taste, telling them to turn it off, or digging out the q-tips and popping an eardrum to save ourself from the agony of having to listen to another minute of soul-grating music. Most of his music really gets on my nerves. Most of my music really gets on his nerves. There's a reason I wear headphones at work. I have a vast capacity for listening to the same tracks -- sometimes even the same song -- over and over and over -- for hours. He doesn't. Headphones -- especially the ones that cut out all noise around you -- are essential at this stage. I am incapable of sitting through industrial music Specially Formulated to Drive Me Insane, he is incapable of listening to "Flying Dutchman" for, oh, the twenty-third time this evening. We're both too inherently musical to tolerate the other's idea of what is "good". "Christmas is coming", Dave. (smirk)
(aaaaaAAAAAaaaa, aaaaAAAAAaaaa) Tie him up so he won't say a word (aaaaaAAAAAaaaa, aaaaAAAAAaaaa) We'll keep the boy spinning in his own little world (aaaaaAAAAAaaaa, aaaaAAAAAaaaa) So afraid he'll be what they never were (aaaaaAAAAAA....aaaaa.....)
I just drew my first "Looking Hopeful Girl" (LHG) with one. The LHG is a common theme in my artwork. As is the LDG ("Looking Determined Girl"), LSG ("Looking Skeptical Girl"), and the SLG ("Startled Looking Guy"). Delicious Microns! Still crampy. I'm trying not to resort of painkillers -- right now they're just a dull ache -- but this is definitely the worst it's been in months. >> 5:24:33 PM I love my new shrine. :) >> 1:14:54 PM
Too bad I didn't buy any when Mothernature.com dropped bottom. Ah well. Hindsight is always 20/20. Oh yeah! I came up with a neat idea for that anthology I was talking about that I haven't actually said what it is yet because I'm waiting to see if the story gets accepted. Dave thought the idea was suitably clever, and I thought the idea was suitably clever, so I'm going to go ahead with it and see where it takes me. Meanwhile, Myr is still in my head, just no time to let her out. Literally. Working Saturdays and managing three websites (aside from my own) during the holidays...things get a little hairy.
I think I'm getting good but I can handle criticism I'll show you what I know
Driving for long hours, watching the terrain going by. Grassy hills turn to grassy flats. Grass turns to desert, the wild paints of God in full force. Dunes, dust, and sand. Weathered walls of henna, salmon, and white gold springing up against the sky. Desert slowly builds, becomes mountains. Sky-wounding peaks, perpetually frosty. And then the mountains break away so that I was heading down through forest along a winding road. Gazing over one of the steep drop-offs, there it was before my eyes -- a network of lights unfurling in the darkness. A grid of twinkling illumination spreading all the way to the ragged edge of the dark nothing that is the Pacific Coast. A 40-watt splendor of front porches, streetlamps, headlights. Come back from your trip soon, Bruce. >> 7:38:12 PM Gift buying left: Mom, Mark, Jenny, Christopher, Brett Jr., Greg, Johnny, Andy. I have to also check my bank account and find out if I have enough money left for all this ;) >> 4:22:32 PM
(twitch) I am such a fricking lightweight. One glass of red beer at lunch, and I fell asleep in the back of Dave's car afterward. Sigh. It was good beer, though. >> 5:01:41 PM The Swiss Colony is my friend. Or. La Colonie aux Suisses est mon ami. It's a happy place for me to buy gifts, because I don't have to pay for them until January-ish. And their stuff tastes good. Mmm. Baby swiiiiiiss (suisses bébé!). >> 12:34:10 PM The day's almost over, and the glomp is almost gone. Got some very good news today. Things are looking up. Can't talk about it yet, though. Soon. Tori is my music of choice when I'm in these moods. And the PSME soundtrack, which I still haven't gotten bored of. Wonder when I will? Anyway, I think I got the major emails done, and Jeff and I hung lights on one of our windows. Green and white. Very pretty. The lesson this week has been to watch my mouth and listen to the little voice when it's talking. If I'd done that, maybe I'd have saved a few people some hurt.
gonna lie to you in your own way know know too well know the chill know she breaks my Siren
Just sit in the car, watch the streets go by, and try not to seem anymore upset than I already am. (sigh) >> 3:32:20 PM Ah, Space Ghost: Coast to Coast makes it all better. So the big thing this weekend was that I spent four hours assembling my shrine. We bought it at Sam's (that's a warehouse-type club store for those of you who don't live near one) and, except for the bits where Ankhka had to hold things up or point out where I was messing up, I did it ALL BY MYSELF. And I'm paying for it now in body pains. All that bending and twisting and holding still while I screwed things in really did a number on my muscles. But I now know what a fastening pin is, and what a cam does, and where the bottom kicker goes. It's airing out for four days. I'm going to rub it down with some olive and fragrance oils tomorrow night if I have the time. I bought a satiny blue pillow for the front of it with Chinese dragons embroidered on it. Kioko already covets it. What else? We went and saw Charlie's Angels. It was pretty much what I expected plus a bag of chips. Lots of sex/70s references, lots of nifty music, and well-choregraphed fight scenes. I liked seeing Drew and Cameron and Lucy fly through the air with the greatest of ease while pretending to be tight grrrlfriends. Anyway. Suz, Melissa, and Bubba have had their gifts bought now. Still need to get something for Andy, Johnny, and Greg. There's too many people in the office for us to buy for! It's mad, I tell you! Kioko is asleep on my pillow. Well, maybe this'll keep her out of my bedroom. :) >> 12:37:54 AM
I'd say more, but I'll likely tick off someone I love, so instead I'll just apologize to anyone who's had to put up with me today, and remind you that your regularly scheduled Steph will, hopefully, return tomorrow. >> 7:48:44 PM
Got lots of work done on web 2.0, and added a few more things to my list of stuff to do when I come in Monday. Now I'm gonna go home. Night everyone. >> 9:17:51 PM Mental note to self: Self -- if you don't specify the cell spacing on a <table> tag, it will default to 1. Ugh. That took thirty minutes out of my life to figure out. Thank you, very much. >> 5:38:58 PM Ever have one of those dreams that was scary when you were having it...but after you're awake for a while, you wonder if it could really be that frightening? I usually don't wake up from nightmares, but this was one of those where I did. It was prefaced sort of by this story of three girls, two of whom were killed by some sort of evil forest spirit (stay with me, here), and the third lived and ran away. When she was older, she went back for the bones of her sisters, and the entity tried to kill her again.... Enter me...and, uh, my Nisut (AUS)? Yes, the two of us go to a cabin in the woods where we know this evil presence is, and we try to get rid of it. Except everything goes weird -- all the lights go randomly on, off, or dim, the rooms get cold, shapes and shadows are walking around us, and one of the rooms keeps changing between what it is now and what it was maybe twenty years ago. There is a point in this thing where I'm trying to bless the house, and then suddenly we're done there and we're back somewhere else "safe" and She's telling me not to write Her name down on paper, because it will give something the entity can attach itself to. Then I go home...where things are presumably safe...and the entity shows up by possessing my cat. Now, I can laugh about this now, because it really sounds ridiculous -- but she's walking towards me like a typical b-movie zombie...y'know, rigid steps, paws thrust out, eyes huge, and it's pretty clear the cat is, you know, not exactly herself today. And this thing is talking to me through her, demanding that I do a spell for it that will help it kill the third girl.... And I woke up with the word No on my lips. So lying there in the pre-dawn morning, I stared at the ceiling and realized I was not only awake, I was unable to get back to sleep. And then I heard it.... Purring. Well, this explains my cat's presence in the dream. She's in the room, nearby, doing that thing where she's purring and sitting around. So I called to her, and she jumped up and laid down next to me, and then I gradually got back to sleep. But oddly enough, I kept noticing that there was a little bit of a draft around my head. I ended up pulling the covers over my face, and this morning I don't know where that draft was coming from. We have the heater on. Anyway...enough of the dream stuff. Isn't it funny how that was so terrifying five hours ago, and now sounds a little contrived and silly? In the face of the beautiful white day outside, such nightmares quickly turn to nonsense stuff anyway. We had snow last night...the trees, cars, and ground are covered. It's so lovely. >> 10:03:34 AM
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