fivebyevif

Thirteen years ago a small company took a big chance on a short young woman who was creative and smart, but a bit unpredictable. Unpredictable can be scary when you’re hiring people, but a few compassionate voices spoke in her favor, and so she was offered a job.

The young woman at the time was in the midst of hating college, upset that the publishing industry hadn’t handed her a career on a silver platter, and aware (on a peripheral level) that she was in a destructive relationship with the wrong guy.

The job gave her several things — money, friends, a career. But it also instigated significant change. Dealing with bills and coworkers encouraged her to grow the fuck up. She acquired perspective to augment the compassion she already had. Fewer things made sense on a black and white level, and a few things just stopped making sense. She recognized the loser as such, and dumped him. On her own she realized that if she still really wanted to be a writer, she actually had to, y’know, write.

Change kept happening. And one day several months ago, a bigger change decided to knock on her door.

It’s like this: I miss my family.

And also: I want to change my career path.

People who have worked for Simutronics know what the give and take is. I love my job, still love my job, will miss what I was doing when I’m gone. Even now, with a week remaining, I am talking to my coworkers about the cool things I want to see in the current game.

I will miss the people who are like a strange, corporate family to me: my coworkers, the GameMasters, the players. I am grateful and thankful for all they have done, and always will be.

But at some point, I realized there were things that outweighed all that. Like being near my family again. Like looking toward my long-term future, and the need to establish myself in the gaming industry.

During the first half of my time at Simu I saw it as a temporary gig. I’d sell a book, get a publishing career, go be a full-time writer. I mean, the gaming industry was fun, but was it my future…?

And in the later half, that changed. I read enough horror stories to know that I didn’t want to scrape by as a midlister, wondering if a paycheck would materialize or if my agent/publisher would drop me or if I’d ever “make it”. I didn’t want to write books because I had to. I wanted to write them because they moved me.

More importantly, I realized which career I wanted in the industry, and it wasn’t as a designer or even a writer. I wanted to be a producer. I wanted to see projects through. I wanted to guestimate, schedule, and scope out. I wanted to help plan the battle. Crazy, but true.

But this wasn’t going to happen at Simutronics, where I was more valuable as a writer. Nor was I certain it could happen anywhere — until it did. More importantly, it did within driving distance of my family.

And that, ultimately, decided it.

So now the story is a little different. It’s a big company taking on an experienced woman, and the risk is low because the woman is awesome and so is the company. If she’s still unpredictable, it’s hopefully in the “flash of brilliance” way, as opposed to the “why did you throw a rice krispie treat at your coworker” way (answer: because he looked like he needed one and I swear I didn’t intend it to hit him in the face I SWEAR).

And while she came here with a loser on her arm, she’s leaving with the best guy in the world in her heart. Where the loser whined at her for leaving and asked her to quit her job to come be a loser with him, the best guy in the world is behind her 100%. He wants her to succeed. He wants her to have this thing, this career, and to be near her family again. He wants to come out and be with her when possible. And he will be. She knows that.

On the 16th, almost exactly 13 years to the day when I moved here, I will hop in my car and take the cats on a four-day trip through America. On the 20th I’ll be in California. On the 24th I’ll start.

I don’t believe in happily ever after. Every day is a new challenge, a new chance to be happy. And we will rise to that challenge. Ever after.